Something Good

At this point, we’re still visiting our friends in Seattle, and it is now Black Friday. Everyone else got up ridiculously early to go hit the various sales. I have no interest in seeing this side of humanity, so I stayed comfortably snuggled up with my daughter while they went in search of extraordinary deals on bath towels, digital cameras, and more. We got up about the time everyone else was resting up for round two of shopping.

When they all headed out for the second time, I decided what my gift was going to be for the day. It can be tricky to do this Giving Challenge when you’re traveling so much. I didn’t have a car and wouldn’t have known where to go if I did. Still, it made me more conscious about what I was doing and for whom.

I mentioned before that our friends are expecting a baby, their first. The reality is that Kate could go into labor any time, being about a week away from her due date. Having gone through the whole “nesting” thing, I have no idea how she has managed not to lose her mind while moving into a house that is not yet completed. While things are certainly beautiful, there are projects yet to be completed in pretty much every room.

I made her the focus of my gift for the day, and when everyone was gone shopping, I dove in and cleaned. Their kitchen is absolutely enormous, and after having so many people in and out, the holiday cooking and eating the day before, and the aforementioned construction projects going on, things had gotten a little out of hand. I literally cleaned that kitchen for two hours. It might have been even more, actually. Thank goodness my toddler allowed me to distract her and occasionally “helped” with the housework.

I did have a fright, as when I dusted the living room, the completely intimidating entertainment system went dark, causing me to fear I had created a major electrical problem. I got brave and messed around with it and got everything back in working order, though.

When everyone got home, they were really surprised by how much I had done. I’m glad they were all happy, but my real hope is that it may have taken a little of the burden off of Kate’s mind.

Today was Thanksgiving, and I was feeling pretty bad because I seemed to be the only person who wasn’t contributing to the meal. I hate feeling useless, so I decided to find a way to make myself as helpful as possible. In the long run, I think I was fairly instrumental in how well the whole thing turned out, too.

Basically, I stationed myself at the sink and cleaned up after every one all day long. People were coming and going throughout the morning and afternoon, depending on how much prep time their particular dish was going to need. As each person finished up his or her appetizer, side dish, or other specialty, I would come along behind and wash al the mixing bowls, cooking utensils, measuring cups, pots and pans, etc. and would have them ready to go for the next person. This process was made a little more difficult by the fact that the plumbing is still a little sketchy (hot water issues) and the dishcloths were still packed in some unknown place.

Nevertheless, I actually had a pretty good time and got to interact with everyone throughout the day. After dinner resumed my role and did my best to clean up the table dishes and any pans that were left. I may not have introduced the group to an awesome new appetizer (cranberries and cilantro are a great combination, it turns out) or tried the coolest Alton Brown recipe (brining the turkey overnight makes it very moist). Heck, even my attempt at deviled eggs was thwarted when my baby woke from her nap and someone else had to take over.

Still, I feel like I was a fairly integral part of how well the whole day went. Yay, me.

Today’s gift was partially for my friends and partially for me and my family. Hopefully, everyone got a little something out of it, anyway!

With something like 42-hours home between trips, we loaded the car back up and headed in the exact opposite direction of that we took last week. This time we made our way to Seattle, Washington for the Thanksgiving holiday. Our friends over there are just finishing building their dream home and were excited to have friends and family over for the first-ever Thanksgiving where they would all fit at one very large table.

Maybe sitting in the passenger seat all day while my husband drives us across the state doesn’t seem like a gift, but it feels like it. This is exacerbated by the fact that my darling toddler hates to be in the car seat for any extended period of time. If we’re lucky, we can time it out so that she falls asleep early on in the trip and only has to be annoyed for the last couple of hours. We were not lucky.

After a few hours of Very Cranky Baby behavior, we stopped in Ellensburg, Washington at the city library. This allowed her to run around, play with some toys, have a snack, and get a fresh diaper. Fortunately, this did the trick, and she slept the rest of the way.

We made it in time to get a tour of the house, which is still under construction, and to check out Kate’s belly (there’s a baby under construction in there) before cozying in to watch our Alma Mater win the Maui Invitational on ESPN. It was a nice, low-key evening with planning for the next day’s festivities. Definitely a gift for all involved.

Today is kind of a crazy day. We got home from Montana last night and will b e leaving for Seattle tomorrow. In the meantime, I needed to get to the office to do some work, try to get unpacked and repacked, and be a somewhat attentive parent and spouse all at the same time. When my Mother’s Helper arrived at 12:30, I was really relieved to see her. I had so much to do and so little time to do it; and I was ready to bolt out the door.

Virginia arrived, telling me that she wasn’t doing all that well because someone had said something that hurt her feelings. She went into it a bit, giving me a fair amount of back story and asking for my opinion. I listened, not entirely patiently, and gave her a few thoughts before telling her that I really, really had to get going.

I got to the office, and the truth is that I didn’t really get all that much done. It’s no wonder, when you consider the fact that I hadn’t really had any time to decompress between trips and probably would have been better served to stay home and appreciate being in familiar surroundings. I found myself thinking about Virginia’s situation and the way she had really seemed to need someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of.

I finished up what I was doing and headed out, getting home a half hour earlier than usual. I told her that it seemed like she had wanted to talk some more and I was happy to listen and to offer ideas. She laughed, saying that she was already feeling better. Still, she stayed and talked for another 45 minutes, so I think I made a good choice.

It’s funny how something as little as just saying, “I hear you” or “I want to hear you” can actually be an important gift to someone else. It also made me feel better about myself, because what kind of friend just runs out when you really need to talk? (A busy one!)

Today was our last day in Helena, and my give for the day was almost sort of a “throwaway” at first. That is to say, I very naturally gave a gift, and it wasn’t until later that I realized that it kind of stung. I’ve said repeatedly that I’ve been trying to stretch myself with this challenge, so I will chalk it up to that and realizing that material items are so much less important than the memories that surround them. In addition, I’m really glad if this particular item can add to family traditions, as that’s really what it was intended to do.

I’ve mentioned already that we traveled to Helena, Montana in order to celebrate my mother-in-law’s 60^th birthday and that there is special significance to the 60^th birthday in Korean culture. The other birthday that is especially celebrated is the first. For that reason, I bought my daughter a special Korean dress (a hanbok) for her first birthday last year. We have one that my mother-in-law brought back from Korea for her, but it was way too big for my itty-bitty girl, and I decided to buy a baby-sized one for her big day.

I was happy when my sister-in-law suggested I bring the hanbok along for her mom’s birthday weekend. I hadn’t thought of it myself, and it seemed like dressing the little ones up in their traditional Korean garb would add to the festivities for my mother-in-law. It was really fun, and we got a few pictures of four generations of ladies in their hanboks. Perfect!

When we were packing to go, I asked my sister-in-law if she wanted my daughter’s hanbok for her newest little girl. It’s still in perfect shape, having only been worn twice, and she’s gotten too big for it (although she has yet to grow into the one brought back from Korea). Anyway, my SIL asked if I was sure, and I said I was, and we put the pretty little dress with her stuff to take home. It will be great, because at her little one’s first birthday, she and her big sister will both have their own hanboks to wear.

It wasn’t until later that I realized I was a tiny bit sad to have let the garment go. (Cynthia, if you’re reading this, that doesn’t mean I want it back, jus that I realized it was a bigger deal than I thought it was at first.)

I’m one of those moms who gets sentimental over things like Christmas dressed and Easter dresses, all of which are still hanging in my daughter’s closet until I can either figure out how to display them or to save them for posterity. So, when I realized I’d let a really “important” dress go, I felt a moment of regret. It was only a moment, though, as I figured out that it’s so great that the dress will get to be used again and will quite possibly make its way back to me should I have another daughter. That’s way better than leaving it in the closet where I look at it a couple of times a year and sigh while wondering how my baby got so big!

Today’s give is a little silly, but when I look at it in retrospect, it seems sweet and fun, so I’m going to go with that. Let me start by saying that for the first 20 months of my daughter’s life, she really didn’t watch television at all. I grew up not watching much television, and even though I though my mom was a big meanie-head for depriving me of the pleasure so many other kids obviously got from the boob tube, I have grown to appreciate it.

In the last couple of months, however, Pandora’s box has been opened. My days now include a fair amount of Elmo and Harold and the Purple Crayon, which my daughter asks for by sweetly intoning, “Baby, please?” I have to admit, it has been fun to get reacquainted with the Sesame Street crew, and I was positively shocked to discover that some of the same actors (Gordon and Maria and the deaf lady, for example) are still on the show more than 30 years after I watched it as a child.

Today’s gift allowed me to share another childhood favorite with my little one. When I scanned my mother-in-law’s well-stocked video collection, I discovered a VHS copy of The Aristocats. Oh my gosh! I loved that movie as a child. My daughter is absolutely enthralled by cats, too, so it seemed like fun to pass this classic on to her.

We watched The Aristocats a couple of times over the next two days, much to my sister-in-law’s chagrin. Apparently, she wasn’t as big of a fan as I; but she was good-natured about it. Now if I could just get our cats to do something interesting like the cats in the movie (like play the piano or make friends with a drunken goose) we wouldn’t need the television to entertain us.

My mother-in-law is from South Korea, and in that culture, the 60^th birthday is a very important occasion that generally comes replete with traditional clothing, gifts, and a ceremony involving rice liquor and a lot of bowing. My husband’s mother was pretty much resigned to the fact that most of that would not be happening for her, however, as we did a large 60^th celebration for her husband last year, and it was a bit much to do a second one.

So, it was really fun that we got to surprise her for her birthday. Obviously, she already knew that we were coming for her birthday, as we’d driven over the night before. What she didn’t know was that we had other surprises in store. First of all, both of her daughters and their children shocked her by arriving unexpectedly (well, to her, at least) that morning. She hadn’t expected them to make the trip at all, and here they were with grandbabies in tow!

The girls brought Korean food for dinner, and we all enjoyed it. In addition, we dressed the toddlers in their traditional Korean dresses (called a hanbok). This inspired my mother-in-law, her mother, and one of the daughters to wear hanboks, as well, so that part of the 60^th birthday tradition was certainly fulfilled.

At dinner, we were able to present the birthday girl with her gift. The three kids and their spouses had all gone in to buy three tickets to The Lion King in Spokane. She seemed really pleased by the gift, and because they’re going to have to travel five hours for the show, they’ll be staying at our house during that weekend. We even worked it out to get a matinee performance so her 80-something-year-old mother (who doesn’t speak English) would be able to attend with them.

All-in-all, we managed to surprise her several times during the day, and it was clear that she had a thoroughly enjoyable 60^th birthday celebration.

This day was pretty much centered around giving since we spent the majority of it in the car on our way to Montana for my mother-in-law’s birthday. We had a few surprises up our sleeve for the matriarch of my husband’s family. The fact that he, I, and her granddaughter were on our way was really the only part of the festivities she was in on from the beginning.

Truth be told, I always dread these trips a bit. Not because of my in-laws, mind you, but because my daughter isn’t entirely patient about being in the car seat for hours on end. This trip was wonderful, though, as she nodded off practically the minute we got on the highway, leaving my husband and I to catch up with one another in the front seat during the next five hours.

That, really, is my favorite part of the trip. We do the drive a few times a year, and quite often we listen to podcasts or I bury my head in a book or take a nap if the baby’s asleep. The rest of the time is spent with me doing everything short of donning a clown suit and lighting fire batons to try to keep her from screaming her displeasure as Papa navigates the mountain passes. But, once or twice a year, the stars align, and we just talk to one another. It always feels like such a gift in and of itself.

The little one woke up about an hour from our destination and was surprisingly calm about her situation. We made a quick stop in town to pick up a card and headed out to his parents’ small farm. As an afterthought, I grabbed a bouquet of pretty burgundy-colored carnations for the birthday girl. I think she could have cared less about the flowers, though, as she was really more interested in the little girl who was quite pleased to be released from the torture device that is the car seat.

Making such a long drive is really hard, especially considering that we have three more major car trips scheduled in the next five weeks. But, my mother-in-law was so happy and felt so special that we’d made the journey. Of course, she didn’t know that more big surprises were in store for her the next day…but I’ll write about that in my next post.

I’m a little behind on writing about the gifts I’ve given as part of the 29-Day Giving Challenge, but it’s not because I haven’t been following through. Instead, it’s because I’ve been busier than a one-legged grasshopper kicking the seeds out of a pickle. Tee hee. I haven’t heard that expression in years and here I am using it.

Anyway, I left off the day before we packed up the car and strapped the baby in the car seat for a five and a half hour drive to Helena, Montana for my mother-in-law’s birthday. She turned 60 this month, which is a very big birthday for Koreans, so we wanted to make sure it was extra special for her. Both of my sisters-in-law and their kids would be joining us early the next morning, and their mom had no idea they were coming, too.

The day before we left was a busy one, and I was feeling kind of bad that I hadn’t gotten out and done anything really special for someone. I feared that I might have to start my Giving Challenge all over again because it seemed likely that I wasn’t going to get out to the store to buy a gift card for my grandma as I’d hoped to do. My thought was that I could send her a little something to get a few things that might make her quiet Thanksgiving table a little more fun. Some rolls she really likes or a pecan pie to put in the fridge and nibble on. You know, something like that but that she could pick out.

I was disappointed and ran through my mind to see if there was anything I’d done that day that would “count.” I couldn’t. Instead, I returned to packing.

I don’t know exactly what I was doing in my wallet, but while I was digging around in there, I noticed a gift card for a big box store. I’m sort of embarrassed to say that I’m not really sure where the card came from, but I do know that it’s been in my wallet for more than six months. I know this because I logged on to their site and checked the activity on the card. It didn’t help me uncover who gave it to me, as it appears to have been purchased in Alabama, which is completely across the country from me. I did discover, however, that the one time I used it was when I was down in Florida visiting my grandmother back in June.

This seemed like a sign to me, and I wrote a little note letting my grandma know that there was $37 on the card and that I hoped she’d use it to get herself a nice Thanksgiving treat. I stamped the envelope and put it in the box for the mail carrier to pick up after we’d already left the next day.

I love the fact that coming across that card was helpful in so many ways. First of all, it allowed me to follow through with my giving for the day. Secondly, it was sort of a financial blessing, as I don’t have a lot of extra money lying around at the moment. Finally, it’s something that I’m absolutely sure my grandma could use, and she’ll see it as me being practical rather than being offended as she would be if I’d sent cash.

Let me start by saying that if you are my husband and you are reading this, you should stop now. I’m not joking or being all cutesy either, Rob. Close this window or go to another post or something, because I’m going to talk about something that happened today that I don’t want you to know about just yet because I’m working it into a nice surprise for you.

With that out of the way, let me talk about my amazing day. Don’t worry, it includes giving…three gifts as a matter of fact.

I originally thought that today was going to be about giving a gift to myself. I was really excited about it, too, because I’ve had this special thing on my calendar for quite some time. I decided two months ago that I was going to splurge on professional coaching for my business, and I was really stoked about it. I was so looking forward to it. I was feeling really optimistic about it.

And then I got practically no sleep last night and my toddler woke up two hours early. It seemed like a recipe for disaster, but she and I both ended up being in really good moods. As usual, I checked my email a few times throughout the morning, and I was totally surprised when a client of mine asked if I’d mind if he made the second of his three installment payments EARLY. Um, no, darling client. I don’t mind a bit! Not only that, but he sent an extra big payment.

This is the part that’s a surprise for my husband. I haven’t told him about this windfall because I’m waiting for the money to get into my account so that I can make the FINAL payment on his student loan. We’ve been paying on it for our entire 11-year relationship, and payments are currently a whopping $600 a month. By this time next week, that loan will be history.

Along with checking my email, I also spent some time on Facebook while my daughter ate her breakfast. (This is where the giving starts.) A friend lamented in his status update that he and his wife could not afford to go to a concert tonight to see their favorite band. She piped in to say how disappointed she was, too. According to him, this was “their” band. So, I left a comment saying that if they could find a babysitter, I could get them tickets. I didn’t want to make it obvious to other people reading that I was going to pay for the tickets, so I sort of worded it to sound like maybe I knew someone who could hook them up.

My friend Josh called me and asked who I knew. I felt like I had to be honest, so I told him “me.” I let him know that I was happy to make them the recipients of today’s gift. He seemed so happy. When he’d said the Great Big Sea was “their” band, I thought he meant that they had been fans since before other people found out the band was cool or something like that. No, it turns out that it’s the very band they saw on their honeymoon eleven years ago!

On my way in to the office today, I stopped and got them second row balcony seats to be picked up at the will-call window. From there I headed to the grocery store, and on my way out, I walked by these brown paper bags that had been pre-packed and were available to buy for people who need food. I picked one up and headed back to the checkout line to drop it off with my ten dollar bill. Then it was back to the car where I hurried through a drive-through so I could get to my coaching phone call in time. As the cashier rang up my order, she asked if I wanted to donate a dollar to their cause. I started to say, “Not today,” but then thought, “Aw, gee, I’ve come this far in my giving today. Why not?”

My coaching call was really good, and it was followed by a meeting with my website designer that also went very well. I got home in time to catch the second half of the Gonzaga/Michigan State basketball game, and it was an awesome game in which my alma mater (GU) very nearly upset the #2 ranked team in the nation.

I’m pretty sure that my positive actions affected my view of things, as it seemed like everything was going my way. For example, I went to clean out the cat box and discovered that my husband did it this morning. I forgot my laptop power cord at work and found out that we had an extra one at home.

It’s been a great day for me, and a couple of the things I did helped make it a better day for a few other people, too. How cool is that?

Today’s give wasn’t necessarily a stretch for me, but it was kind of cool nonetheless. Some time ago I started saving up my labels from Campbell’s products with the idea that I’d eventually walk them over to the nearby school. Campbell’s has a program called Labels for Education. Each label from a can of soup or other product is worth a certain number of points, and then the school gets to redeem those points for all kinds of supplies to improve the quality of education for their students. Of course, I didn’t know if the school actually collected labels or anything, but it seemed like a good idea.

However, when our community newsletter came out this month, there was a short article on the back that explained that the Learning Skills Center at our community center is doing a label drive in which they’re trying to collect 10,000 points. “Heck,” I thought, “I’ve got an envelope full of labels I could drop off on my way in to the office.” So, I found my stashed labels, went through the cupboard to cut off any qualifying UPC symbols still hanging out in there, and added them up. The total was a whopping 65 points!

It turns out that pretty much everything they can get costs a whole lot of points, so I’m glad to know that I’ve made a little dent in their huge goal. I’d like to leverage my enthusiasm a bit to invite anyone reading this blog to see if they have five or ten points kicking around in the pantry that they could stick in an envelope and send to this good cause.

If so, you can send them to:

Learning Skills Center
West Central Community Center
1603 N. Belt
Spokane, WA 99205

From the community center website: This program (The Learning Skills Center) is for persons of disability. This program provides educational classes, prevocational training, recreational opportunities, skill building, friendship building, communication skills, community tours and integration, advocacy, family opportunities and counseling services. This is a structured program with pre-planned monthly activities. The program is a a private, fees-for-services program and enrollment is required.

Today’s give was one of time, attention, and the foundation for lifetime memories.  Today I introduced my 22-month old daughter to the art of making cookies.  What I learned is that measuring, mixing, and baking are both a lot harder and quite a bit more fun when a toddler is helping.

 

I’ve long imagined that idyllic moment where I could mix ingredients on the counter while my precious little girl played with measuring cups and wooden spoons on the floor.  Of course, my little one is far more hands-on, and she was eager to help me pour and mix.  I was surprised at just how involved she got.

 

While she may not remember the time she spent peering into the oven or dumping chocolate chips into the batter, I certainly will.  I am certain that it is the first of many such experiences we will have together.  It was also great because even though she hadn’t had a nap all day, she never got cranky or fussy.  We were both 100% in the moment, enjoying an experience that mothers and daughters have been having for generation after generation.

 

Perhaps tomorrow we will share those cookies with someone else, as an extension of today’s gift!

 I’m not a coffee drinker.  I don’t particularly like the taste of it, and I hate the feeling of being jittery.  O the other hand, I do like the occasional mocha, however.  Maybe once a month I’ll treat myself to a 12-ounce, usually decaf.  I’ll probably end up paying for it with stomach cramps, but if I keep things pretty limited, I’m in OK shape.

 

My husband, on the other hand, drinks what I would consider to be a ridiculous amount of coffee.  He has both a Senseo machine and a French press at home, not to mention the pots of drip coffee he and his office mates drink all day long at work.

 

I kind of resent my husband’s dependence on this bitter elixir.  For one thing, I just don’t think it’s healthy.  Of course, my true dislike of his habit is far more petty.  I hate the fact that he is such a coffee slob.  Every day, he invariably sloshes coffee on the counters and leaves it there for me to clean up.  The little pods stay in his Senseo until they mold.  And the coffee grounds.  Ugh.  They either stay in the French press until they turn blue and fuzzy, or they get poured into the sink.  Don’t confuse “poured into the sink” with “washed down the drain.”  No, this version is more of about grit and stains on my stainless steel.

 

No, I am no fan of my husband’s coffee habit.  But, he really does enjoy his coffee.  Unfortunately for him, he hasn’t been able to enjoy it as much as usual lately, because the top of his coffee grinder went missing.  It seems like breakfast time each Saturday morning lately has included a lamentation about the fact that there’s no way to grind beans for the French Press.

 

For today’s gift, I put my own annoyance aside and loaded the baby and me into the car to hit the local mall.  I figured a department store like JC Penny or Sears would likely have some kitchen accessories on sale.  Even though it’s not really the Christmas season yet, it seems to be inside pretty much any retail establishment.  I was able to locate a Cuisinart coffee grinder, and when my husband came home from tromping around in the woods training the next generation of Search and Rescue volunteers, he was quite pleased to see it waiting for him.

 

 

I have a friend who has been popping into my mind a lot lately.  It seems like her name comes up quite a bit in regards to business type stuff.  Makes sense, since in addition to being my friend, she’s also my company’s marketing pro.

 

One of the cool things about Billie is that she’s really into gratitude.  I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t already thought of her when I started telling her about 29 Gifts and the 29-Day Challenge.  I mean, it is right up her alley.  She loves to make people feel good and is a big believer that you get back what you put out into the world.

 

So, today’s gift was to order Billie her own copy of the book.  I had it sent directly to her office, and I suspect that we’ll see her nosing around on this site in the not-too-distant future.  

One thing that I find a little tricky about this 29-Day Giving Challenge, is how to do it without simply spending a fortune.  If I added up the amount of money I spent in just the first week, it would be a fairly tidy sum.  Now, I don’t want to be in a scarcity mindset, but I also don’t want to be foolhardy.  Not only that, but I want my gives to be about more than just making a donation or giving a few bucks to a guy at the bus stop.  (Not that these aren’t both great things to do, just that I want to challenge myself to do that and more.)

This creates sort of a double-edged sword for me.  On the one hand, I feel like I’m going a step further to give something that is more personal than material.  When I look at it from another angle, though, it seems like simply sending off an email or making a phone call is such a small act that perhaps it shouldn’t count.

Never mind my second guessing.  I have decided that I can certainly be content with giving gifts of time, friendship, or even just a few kind words.  Today’s give was a bit of all three.  I’ll start with a little back story.

I have a Christian background, with the majority of influence being a small-town Methodist church.  One of the things that I like about the Methodist point of view is that it takes into consideration the fact that maybe we’re not getting everything right, but we think God appreciates the fact that we’re really trying to understand and follow the teachings of the bible.

So, when I got out into “the real world,” I was completely unprepared to deal with people who are so absolutely sure that they are right because some pastor told them what they should believe.  I don’t want to disparage people for having convictions, but I have been continually disappointed by the hypocrisy and judgmental attitudes of so many people who were supposed to be following the teachings of someone who is perhaps most famous for saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  It seems like the more “Christian” someone is, the less Christ-like they tend to be.

So, it’s been a real treat to get back in touch with a friend from high school and find out that while she is absolutely clear in her devotion to her Christian faith, she is also an open person who is accepting of other points of view.  We mainly keep up via Facebook, and it’s always neat to see how she and her family are so excited to go to church that Sunday or that they host weekly “house church” where they enjoy fellowship with their friends.

I sent my friend Daniele a short email telling her how much I appreciated being acquainted with an American Christian who is both devout and tolerant.  With the current political climate surrounding this month’s election, as well as “friends” who are constantly spamming my Facebook page with opinions that I think are ignorant—and in some cases, inhumane—it is such a relief to realize that not everyone uses God as an excuse for this type of behavior.

Today’s give was something pretty simple.  I bought someone a cup of tea.  I also bought myself a cup of tea and spent about a half hour getting to know her better.  It was wonderful and just the type of thing I imagined myself doing when my company moved into its little office space ten months ago.

One of the big selling points for our office space was the other businesses in the building.  We’re housed in the Spokane Entrepreneurial Center, which is home to other tiny businesses that are making the leap from home-based to office-based.  It’s a wonderful atmosphere, both because of the creative people surrounding us and because of the historic nature of the brick building itself.  It’s hard not to get excited about sharing a building with a massage therapist, a wine tasting room, and a coffee shop, after all.

On the first day of my Giving Challenge, my gift was that of enthusiasm for a business that just moved in on our floor.  I used my blog and my Facebook status to share my enthusiasm and a link to their site.  Today’s give took another step toward building a relationship, as Rene’ from My Good Greetings and I made our way down to the coffee shop to share a cup of tea and talk about her business.

Part of the Challenge is to recognize when the good energy you’re creating with your gives comes back to you.  That was certainly the case today when I learned that Rene’ and her husband would like me to start blogging for their website.  Hm, me blogging about environmental issues?  Awesome, considering that is one of my favorite things to write about on my own blogs.

I’m excited that by doing something good for this cool business, I was able to create an opportunity for myself, although I did not do it with that intention at all!  I’m also happy that I think I am making a new friend, one who is right down the hall from me and who has a lot of the same interests as I do.  I’m also glad for that cup of tea, because I got to learn so much more about what they’re doing and how they’re doing it, and my enthusiasm has grown that much more.

 One of the things that I always enjoyed doing with this blog in the past is creating a Holiday Shopping Guide (that’s a link to an old one for reference) for those of us who want to support small businesses and individuals with our shopping dollars.  Well, it’s definitely that time of year again, so I’m asking for suggestions and recommendations to put on the list.  In the past, we’ve included businesses, artisans, and even nonprofit organizations. 

Please leave a comment with a link and a little about the business/artists/group, or email the information directly to me at lornadoone (at) Comcast (dot) net, and I’ll get to work putting together our Holiday Shopping Guide for 2010.   It's fine to promote yourself, too!

 Every night, my daughter and my husband take a bath together.  Sometimes this baths take as long as an hour, during which I can hear squealing, splashing, and the occasional, “Mama, you have to come and see this!” beckoning me to check out the latest tub escapades.  Bath time is their special time together each day.  It’s my special time, too, in a way, as I often catch up on email, straighten up the living room, and watch a recorded show or read a book while they’re in the bathroom.

Perhaps as an extension to this ritual, my husband decided he wanted to start swim lessons with Dot at the YMCA.  Every Tuesday and Thursday, he uses his lunch hour to rush home and pick her up so they can make it to the half hour class in time.  My understanding is that they do a lot of bubble blowing and feet kicking, but no actual swimming in the baby/toddler group.

I am more than happy for them to take the class.  For one thing, I think it’s a safety issue.  The sooner Dot can swim, the safer she’ll be around the water.  Not only that, but I love it that she and Rob have their special things that they do together.  It’s important.  Finally, I like having an hour to myself in the late morning twice a week.  If nothing else, I at least get a chance to take a real shower!

This morning, however, Rob had to fly out of town for the day.  He left it up to me whether or not to take Dot to her lesson in his stead.  I really didn’t want to.  I don’t particularly like swimming.  I get cold easily.  And I have two swimsuits, neither which actually fits me at this point.  Plus, I’d have to get both of us all ready to go and then step into a situation where everyone else knew each other and I was the odd man out.  It just didn’t really sound like fun.

But, I know that Dot really likes it.  When she gets home on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she often tells me several times throughout the day “Pool.  Papa.”  She’ll sign to me that her hair is wet and smile when I asked her if she had fun at the pool with Papa.  Despite the hassle, or perhaps because of it, I knew that taking her to the Y was going to be my gift for today.

And it was really fun.  Our class was in the therapy pool, which is set to something like 92 degrees, so I didn’t even have to worry about being cold.  There was only one other parent and child in the class, and the mom and I got along really well, discovering that we even have friends in common.  Dot had so much fun and even felt brave enough to kind of jump off the edge of the pool into my arms.  The class ended at 11:30, but we didn’t get out of the water until a little after 12:00.  If it wasn’t for the fact that we had to meet someone at 12:30, I think we would have stayed longer and probably even joined the other mom for lunch.

After I got us showered and dressed, I slipped back into the pool area for just a moment to give my business card to the other mom and tell her that I’d love to go to lunch with her sometime.  That took some courage on my part, let me tell you!  But, I was keeping the 29-Day Giving Challenge in mind, as well as the idea of stretching myself every day.  I think I’ve definitely done that here with the final day of my first full week.

 When I decided to do the 29-Day Giving Challenge, I was really psyched about it.  I told my husband all about it and how I was so enthusiastic.  He didn’t quite seem to get it, so I made a point to tell him, “This is something I’m really excited about.”  He took the hint and has asked me on a couple of occasions since then how my “gift thing” was going.  Yesterday he got to find out first hand, as my gift was to take him on a date. 

I have a Mother’s Helper who comes to look after my daughter three afternoons a week so that I can go to my office and get some work done without disruptions.  We decided that for the month of November, she is going to come four days a week.  We tried a few months ago to have her come five days a week, and it just did not work for me.  I felt like I was away from my little one too much, and my hormones actually got all weird from the change in our nursing schedule.  We decided it just wasn’t the way we wanted to do things.

But, I’m now ready to try just a little more time away.  My plan is to just do it for this month because I have a really big project in the works for a client.  If I feel like I’m falling behind, I’ll have that extra day to catch back up.  On the other hand, if I’m not feeling particularly panicked at that point in time, I have a few hours a week that I can devote to my own personal projects, whether they are the 29-Day Challenge, writing content for a website I’m developing, or simply diving into a book that I want to read for enjoyment rather than research.

Yesterday was my first “extra” day, and it happened to coincide with my husband’s flex day off at work.  We decided that it would be fun to go on a date, as they have been few and far between since our daughter was born.  I could probably count the number of times he and I have been together in a car without having her in the car seat behind us.

We left the house with no particular plan and ended up at a restaurant called “Lindemann’s” on the South Hill.  He had a vegetable pot pie with curry, and I went for the spanakopita.  We didn’t talk about anything heavy or life-altering, rather we just had a nice meal together wherein no one had to pick food up off the floor, make sure the sippy cup wasn’t leaking, or enquire as to whether or not there was a changing table in the bathroom.

After lunch, we engaged in one of our old favorite pastimes: driving around looking at other people’s houses.  We’ve always enjoyed tooling around the neighborhoods of our city and pointing out which houses we would or wouldn’t want to live in.  It was very relaxed and nice, with the seat warmers soothing us as the autumn wind blew outside the car.

At that point, my husband was going to drop me off at the office so I could get a couple of hours of stuff done, but he ended up coming upstairs to work on some computer issues.  Talk about a bonus.  By the time all is said and done, I will have a really cool setup wherein I can use two monitors at once, in addition to having more desk space.  It was one of those things that just keeps getting put off, but since we were out and about and had the time to spend together, he took the opportunity to make my office an even better place for me.

 Today I did not give a gift to anyone.  In fact, I didn’t get further than my porch all day long.  It was actually a struggle.  As I planned for this 29-Day Giving Challenge, I thought, “I don’t want to do that thing where I say, ‘my gift to myself is relaxing.’”  It somehow felt like cheating.  Besides, I’ve been making a point to stretch myself with each of these gives.

So, I looked around all day for what I could do.  I could write letters to friends and family, as it’s something I’d previously thought of as being one of the things I’d like to do during this experiment.  Of course, writing just one letter would not be enough.  It wasn’t enough of a stretch.  I would need to gather up all my addresses and write letters to everyone I wanted to reconnect with in that way.

Maybe I should call my little sister.  She seems to be having a hard time with college right now, and what I gather from her Facebook page is that Organic Chemistry is kicking her butt.  Maybe a few words of encouragement from her big sister would perk her up.  Of course, her time zone is three hours later than mine, and she probably had a lot of studying to do…I wouldn’t want to interrupt and make things harder.  Plus, is a phone call really *enough*?

I have something in common with the author of 29 Gifts.  I, too, am a perfectionist.  It’s not enough to take a container of soup to a lonely neighbor.  Instead, I need to cook up an entire stock pot of broth and vegetables and deliver it all over the neighborhood.  Oh, and why don’t I make some apple cider while I’m at it?

Going through all of this in my mind, I realized that taking time to relax and not feel obligated truly was my gift to myself.  I’m in the middle of a cold and really needed to rest and recuperate.  I’d just started reading Kathy Griffin’s book, and wouldn’t it be nice to take it easy for the day and enjoy her snarky humor?

I can’t say that my day was guilt-free.  All day long I kept thinking of the gifts I could be giving to other people.  I felt like perhaps I was expecting my husband to do too much of the childcare.  I worried that I was letting my daughter watch too much Sesame Street as I laid around in my pajamas.  I couldn’t stop myself from at least cleaning up the kitchen a bit.  It finally became clear to me that taking this time for myself really was the stretch I’ve been seeking with my gives.  Giving myself permission not to be perfect and not to give 110% is not an easy thing for me, but it’s something I should probably do consciously a little more often.