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Is "Humbled" the Word I'm Looking For?

Chest FreezerToday's post is bit of a reflection when it comes to this whole no-spending thing.  It started yesterday when I finished off a loaf of bread and went down to the freezer to see if we had any more.  We live just a few blocks from a bakery outlet store, and it's not unusual for us to spend $20 and come home with four or five bags full of bread, bagels, English muffins, and possibly some animal cookies.  I figured we must be out of bread by now, though.  I mean, we haven't been grocery shopping in 21 days!

I was shocked when I went down and discovered there were still a few loaves in the freezer.  I decided to poke around in there and see what else we had.  A few bags of frozen fruit for smoothies, several packages of frozen homemade soups and chili, turkey stock Rob made at Thanksgiving, a ton of breakfast burritos I made and froze awhile back, a bag of chicken breasts...it went on and on.  Our pantry is still full of a couple dozen cans of soup, instant pudding and jello mixes, back up baking supplies, homemade jelly I canned, a zillion kinds of tea...it goes on and on.

What a freaking wake-up call!

We have not been grocery shopping in three weeks, and we still have so much food.  I'm almost kind of embarrassed.  What have I been thinking during my weekly trips to the supermarket to get things we "need?"   Obviously, I haven't been taking into consideration the things we already have.  I feel...I don't know...kind of greedy or something for having so much.

On the other hand, it is kind of cool to note that if something catastrophic happened, like, one of us lost our job, we would apparently not starve to death right away.  The mortgage and the car payments and all that other stuff aside, we'd be ok.  If there was a huge blizzard and we couldn't get out of the house to get provisions, we'd probably be just fine for a very long time (although, there would probably be less mouths to feed, because being stuck in the house together for that long would likely lead to us going all Lord of the Flies on each other).

I'm a Word Nerd...It says so right on my business cards.  But, I'm having a hard time coming up with a way to describe how I feel about these realizations.  It would be some combination of:

  • Embarrassed

  • Grateful

  • Uncertain

  • Pleased

  • Fortunate

Between that and the fact that I can pretty much "shop" in my craft room when it comes to finding stuff to make gifts or just activities to entertain us, I feel like we are either hoarders or we are kind of living our life in a way that makes sense for us.

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